10 Things I Hate About You...

Hate is a strong word, but I really, really, really don't like you... right now.

1. I hate that you are really hateful sometimes.
          You sometimes hate people just for being. It's sad. They have not done anything to you, but you hate them. And if they did something to you, learn to forgive. It's not cute.
2. I hate that you have let yourself go.
          Maybe it's not the fact that your man doesn't like you anymore, but you have let yourself go so bad. Maybe if you hadn't done that you would have a lot more sex.
3. I hate that you can't save any money.
         You have a job, why is it so hard to save your money. Stop wasting on stupid things, save your money and save for a rainy day.
4. I hate that you are so hurtful.
          You have a tongue that stings. If you don't have anything nice to say, then don't say anything at all!

Ok, so maybe I don't hate you that much... but I hate you enough.

My Morning Jacket

Last week I was in California. Vanessa and I were in California. We went for a very short visit. A 18 hour visit to be exact...

We saw My Morning Jacket. I have been in love with MMJ for about 5 years now. And every day it gets better, and better. Thank you Carol and Rob for taking us :)

Y Hubo Alguien...

De repente te da por volverme a buscar, por hablar de los dos y salir a cenar. Tal parece que yo te hice falta de mas. Que no fuiste feliz con tu otra mitad. De repente te da por volver a sentir quien es el que en verdad sabe hacerte feliz. Pero se te olvido que al marcharte de aqui yo quede igual que tu, libre para elegir.

Y hubo alguien que se encargo de darme todo cada tarde. Que se moria por llenarme de detalles y palabras amables. Si hubo alguien que mientras tu vivias tu vida muy aparte, se encargaba de la mia con coraje y logro conquistarme. Y, a ese alguien, una noche de locura interminable, le entregue mi carino, mi cuerpo, mi alma, mi mente y mi ser como tu ya no sabes.

De repente te da por romper a llorar. Por decir que jamas me pudiste olvidar.  Pero se te paso que al marcharte de aqui yo quede igual que tu, libre para elegir.

Wow!

Se te olvido decirme adios
Se te olvido decirme adios
Y hubo alguien
Alguien que lleno mis dias, y lleno mis noches con una nueva ilusion.

Se te olvido decirme adios,
se te olvido!
Se te olvido decirme adios
Y hubo alguien
Se te olvido decirme adios
Abrias mi puerta para otro amor

Ella me da tanto. Tu me dejaste ir y no pensaste en mi. Y ahora no puedes vivir sola...sin mi.
Ahora hay alguien que me da mucho amor y un carino sincero, perfecto y bonito, tu ves.

Wow!

Te llore
te digo, te llore, te llore
te llore
te digo, te llore, te llore
te llore
Desconsolado
te llore
Triste y desesperado
tu no pensaste en mi, pena
y te marchaste, mi nena

Y llora, que te llora
llora, que te llora
Llora!
Pero tu ya no me importas
Ohhhhh, y ahora no puedes vivir
sola, sin mi
y ahora no puedes vivir
sola, sin mi
y ahora no puedes vivir
sola, sin mi
y ahora no puedes vivir
sola, sin mi

Ay, yo llore
yo llore
Ay, yo llore
que mucho llore
Ay, yo llore

yo llore

Laughter

Today I am thankful to have laughter. Through all the shit that life throws my way, I am thankful that I still have the strength to laugh. Even if deep inside my smile hides something, here I am, still smiling. Still laughing. You have to be able to laugh. Laugh at the crap, laugh at yourself. If it wasn't for laughter, I'd be a very depressed person. Being able to laugh at the crap, although not solving anything, it makes the load a little lighter. It makes the days go by a little easier. Laugh, even if it's all you have sometimes...

You...

You... love me unconditionally. Know that I am strong and will always be my own. Know that I am strong willed and that I will do whatever it takes to accomplish what I believe in. Know that sometimes I can be wrong, but trust that I will always make it right.

You... want to take care of me. Even when you know I say I dont need to be taken care of. You want to do it anyway because its the right thing. Because you want to be my MAN. Because you don't want anyone else doing it.

You... want to make me happy. Not because making me happy will make you happy, but because you trully want me to be happy. Because you know that I have been through things, and you want me to have what I deserve.

You... have no selfishness when it comes to loving me.

Where are you? I need you...

Bye.

It's so hard to let go of someone you love, even when you don't feel loved by them. Sometimes our pride gets in the way of our feelings. And sometimes we are willing to lose out on the best things in our lives over stupid things. But sometimes it's necessary to let go. Even if it hurts so bad. Someone always ends up losing, and it's usually the one invested in the relationship. And it's so hard to not run over to that person and cry and hug them. But fear always takes over and defeats you... i love you. even when it's not what i get back, i love you. and i pray you find what you didn't find in me.

Always, Sometimes, Never 3

I Always

want someone to love
want someone to love me
expect too much


I Sometimes

cry out of joy
give up too quick
cry out of anger


I Never

want to be taken for granted
have liked pain
judge

The Truth Is...

- I want to live alone with my kids.
I have lived alone with them, and I have lived with a partner. In my situation, I think living alone, just me and my kids is a better fit for me.

- I don't like anyone telling me what to do.
I am old enough where I think I know what I am doing. I don't want anyone telling me how I should be doing things with my life.

- I love my job.
I went to school. Tried different directions to go to. I never thought about leasing. But I love it.

Way Back Wednesday 9

two years ago. i had just had noah :)

The One

I have never been that girl. And sadly, I don't think I ever will be. I'm like that stepping stone type. You step on me on your way up. You still need me, cuz without me you could never learn all those important life lessons that need to be learned. Only a "girl" like me can teach those lessons. But I'm not the one. And you are only made the one by me. I have accepted it. Now all I have left is to embrace it...

Really?

We argue because I feel he is not disciplining his kid the right way. How that equals me not APPRECIATING him enough I'll never know. I know it's just a stupid useless excuse.

Way Back Wednesday 8

On a spur of the moment we decided to take a road trip up the coast to Lompoc/Santa Barbara. Little did we know that this would be the last road trip we'd take before moving to Las Vegas. What a beautiful way to go out!

Happy Birthday Noah!

Noah turned 2 on the 5th! It is amazing how fast time is flying by. I miss having a baby! But at the same time, I am really enjoying this child. He truly makes me happy :)

Right now Noah:
-Loves watching Curious George. Except he calls him, monkey. I don't think he can actually say "Curious George".
-All he wants is "juice" or "jugo". He is going through that stage of not wanting to eat much, but he is asking for juice all day long.When he does eat though, he is a good eater. Not picky at all. He will eat anything. Including things he doesn't need to be eating, haha!
-He loves putting other peoples shoes on. The bigger the better! lol. Or his own shoes, but always on the wrong foot!
-He is crazy! Gets into everything, cannot be left alone a minute! But he  keeps me on my feet.
-He is talking pretty clearly. He says a lot of words and can put sentences together. He says really funny things sometimes! He mimics everything. Some of his favorite phrases are:
     "help me, mom, help me!"
     "no, no, no, no, no"
     "you calling me?"
     "uh-huh"
lol... I'm sure I am missing a few that I can't think of right now. lol.

Anyway, my baby is growing, fast, and it makes me a bit sad and nostalgic. I know I am going to miss these days...