Monday, September 23, 2013

Nurture Your Relationship

I read this article,  and it really made a lot of sense to me. For 5 months I was on my own. I was trying to find myself. Trying to make sense of my relationship. The whole time I was gone, he kept fighting to get me back home. But I was afraid. Because before I left, I felt I was in a rut. Stuck in a relationship that had no love, no passion, nothing much to look forward to.
I'm back again. And more scared than ever. So I am trying to read and inform myself to try and do things a little different. Hoping I'm not in this alone and that this time I'm here to stay.

10 Ways to Nurture Your Relationship

A relationship cannot survive on its own. It needs the care and nurturing of two adults, giving to each other in a way that creates a mutually beneficial connection. To foster a deep and loving relationship, there needs to be:

1. Kind, constant, and honest communication.
Without talking, your relationship will not survive. The more you communicate, the closer you will be.
(Don't ignore me. I want to be able to talk to you about anything.)

2. The willingness to work through difficulties and disagreements.
Throwing in the towel, even if you don’t walk out the door, is not the path to happiness. You must face the discomfort that comes with differing opinions and ideas.
(I won't agree with everything you have to say, but someone to hear you out is always good. )

3. A sense of humor, some fun, and a bit of distraction from the rigors of daily life.
You can’t spend all your free time “working” on your relationship—don’t make it a hobby. Discuss what you like to do, where you’d like to go, and how you both like to have fun. Then go do it. (Date nights were fun and that is something I would like to continue doing.)

4. Sharing life lessons with the one you love.
When you discover something about life, or you make a self-correcting move that is healthy for your relationship, let your partner know. You’ll be surprised by the positive response. (It's always sexy when you try to improve on yourself.)

5. Emotional support, validation, and compliments.
If you don’t feel that you partner likes and respects you, there will not be a strong connection. You have to lift each other up and let each other know the depth of your caring.(A compliment can take you so far. I have to know that I'm wanted, because if I'm not wanted, then what is the point of all this?)

6. Love, intimacy, romance, and sex.
These are the cornerstones of a loving relationship. Being great roommates just won’t cut it. There has to be the desire to be together as a couple. You may think the spark has gone, but there are too many ways to rekindle it. All you have to do is try.(90% of the time that a person cheats on their partner is because they are not getting something at home. Be fun n show your partner that you love them and still think they are sexy.)

7. Sharing goals and dreams that resonate with both of you.
We are happier when we are working toward a goal than when we have achieved one. Make sure you always have something to look forward to and that you are pursuing it as a couple. (I want to know what you are working towards, and that I will be there with you when you achieve it.)

8. Compassion, acceptance, and forgiveness.
These will show you the way through a difficult time. If you are together for a while, there will be losses, challenges, and some things that you just can’t fix. Weathering the storms together is a big part of what relationships are all about.(Make a choice to move on,  and do it. Don't dwell on the past.)

9.A mutual desire to step outside the box.
The tried-and-true is good, but the never- attempted-before may be better. Couples who share new experiences together develop a stronger bond.(Doing new things is always fun.)

10. Being able to admit mistakes and to talk about them.
We all screw up. Learning to understand and let go of mistakes that you or your partner make will turn your life around and give you more time for joy.(Like I said before. Make a choice to move on and just do it! )

Just as we need to breathe to survive, your love needs a breath of fresh air to flourish. Giving your relationship what it needs to thrive is a truly loving gesture.

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