It's crazy when people want to harp about things you've done in the past, say how unkind you have been, and then turn around and do the same to you. You treated me this way and that way, and you don't know how it felt. You made me feel like shit. You have hurt me so much... It's crazy because those same people have also treated you this way and that way. They have also made you feel like shit. But they did know how they were making you feel. And they do know what they are doing to you now.
These kind of people are vindictive and petty. Insecure and shallow.
When someone is mean to you, it is Ok to get mad. Tell them how you feel, how they've made you feel. You can argue with them. Try and prove your point. And then you make a choice and go with it. You can either forgive that person for the past. Or you move on. It is never Ok to"forgive"and then be cruel. That is not Ok.
Treat people how you want to be treated.
Tuesday, October 15, 2013
Sunday, September 29, 2013
Actions always prove why words mean nothing
I'm so confused.
Just want someone to hold me. Hug me. Tell me I'm loved. A simple touch. A small kiss here and there. .. It seems like something so easy to achieve. It's not hard, I think. But instead I am being lead to believe that the only time someone can feel wanted and loved is when the other person wants to bone. Other than that, fat chance...
But then, there's times when it's like all they want from you is sex. But they treat you different. And you feel as if there's something there...
Regardless. Just hate that it's always this way. When you like someone they don't like you, but there's some poor soul out there wishing you were with them. I wish to for once be on the same page with someone...
Just want someone to hold me. Hug me. Tell me I'm loved. A simple touch. A small kiss here and there. .. It seems like something so easy to achieve. It's not hard, I think. But instead I am being lead to believe that the only time someone can feel wanted and loved is when the other person wants to bone. Other than that, fat chance...
But then, there's times when it's like all they want from you is sex. But they treat you different. And you feel as if there's something there...
Regardless. Just hate that it's always this way. When you like someone they don't like you, but there's some poor soul out there wishing you were with them. I wish to for once be on the same page with someone...
Friday, September 27, 2013
Housewife
Now, I've only been at this housewifing' thing for about 2 weeks. And don't get me wrong, I am enjoying my time off, but this kinda sucks! You cook, clean, drive around making sure everyone is where they are supposed to be. You cook and clean some more. Take care of everyone. Then the kids get home and they are off doing their daily routines. Homework. Trying to keep up. Dinner. Showers. Before they are off to bed just to do it all over again. And then your partner comes home. Dinner. And heads to his daily routine of doing anything to avoid you...
You take care of everyone and then at the end of the day, you end up TAKING CARE OF YOURSELF too! Literally...
You take care of everyone and then at the end of the day, you end up TAKING CARE OF YOURSELF too! Literally...
Monday, September 23, 2013
Nurture Your Relationship
I read this article, and it really made a lot of sense to me. For 5 months I was on my own. I was trying to find myself. Trying to make sense of my relationship. The whole time I was gone, he kept fighting to get me back home. But I was afraid. Because before I left, I felt I was in a rut. Stuck in a relationship that had no love, no passion, nothing much to look forward to.
I'm back again. And more scared than ever. So I am trying to read and inform myself to try and do things a little different. Hoping I'm not in this alone and that this time I'm here to stay.
10 Ways to Nurture Your Relationship
A relationship cannot survive on its own. It needs the care and nurturing of two adults, giving to each other in a way that creates a mutually beneficial connection. To foster a deep and loving relationship, there needs to be:
1. Kind, constant, and honest communication.
Without talking, your relationship will not survive. The more you communicate, the closer you will be.
(Don't ignore me. I want to be able to talk to you about anything.)
2. The willingness to work through difficulties and disagreements.
Throwing in the towel, even if you don’t walk out the door, is not the path to happiness. You must face the discomfort that comes with differing opinions and ideas.
(I won't agree with everything you have to say, but someone to hear you out is always good. )
3. A sense of humor, some fun, and a bit of distraction from the rigors of daily life.
You can’t spend all your free time “working” on your relationship—don’t make it a hobby. Discuss what you like to do, where you’d like to go, and how you both like to have fun. Then go do it. (Date nights were fun and that is something I would like to continue doing.)
4. Sharing life lessons with the one you love.
When you discover something about life, or you make a self-correcting move that is healthy for your relationship, let your partner know. You’ll be surprised by the positive response. (It's always sexy when you try to improve on yourself.)
5. Emotional support, validation, and compliments.
If you don’t feel that you partner likes and respects you, there will not be a strong connection. You have to lift each other up and let each other know the depth of your caring.(A compliment can take you so far. I have to know that I'm wanted, because if I'm not wanted, then what is the point of all this?)
6. Love, intimacy, romance, and sex.
These are the cornerstones of a loving relationship. Being great roommates just won’t cut it. There has to be the desire to be together as a couple. You may think the spark has gone, but there are too many ways to rekindle it. All you have to do is try.(90% of the time that a person cheats on their partner is because they are not getting something at home. Be fun n show your partner that you love them and still think they are sexy.)
7. Sharing goals and dreams that resonate with both of you.
We are happier when we are working toward a goal than when we have achieved one. Make sure you always have something to look forward to and that you are pursuing it as a couple. (I want to know what you are working towards, and that I will be there with you when you achieve it.)
8. Compassion, acceptance, and forgiveness.
These will show you the way through a difficult time. If you are together for a while, there will be losses, challenges, and some things that you just can’t fix. Weathering the storms together is a big part of what relationships are all about.(Make a choice to move on, and do it. Don't dwell on the past.)
9.A mutual desire to step outside the box.
The tried-and-true is good, but the never- attempted-before may be better. Couples who share new experiences together develop a stronger bond.(Doing new things is always fun.)
10. Being able to admit mistakes and to talk about them.
We all screw up. Learning to understand and let go of mistakes that you or your partner make will turn your life around and give you more time for joy.(Like I said before. Make a choice to move on and just do it! )
Just as we need to breathe to survive, your love needs a breath of fresh air to flourish. Giving your relationship what it needs to thrive is a truly loving gesture.
I'm back again. And more scared than ever. So I am trying to read and inform myself to try and do things a little different. Hoping I'm not in this alone and that this time I'm here to stay.
10 Ways to Nurture Your Relationship
A relationship cannot survive on its own. It needs the care and nurturing of two adults, giving to each other in a way that creates a mutually beneficial connection. To foster a deep and loving relationship, there needs to be:
1. Kind, constant, and honest communication.
Without talking, your relationship will not survive. The more you communicate, the closer you will be.
(Don't ignore me. I want to be able to talk to you about anything.)
2. The willingness to work through difficulties and disagreements.
Throwing in the towel, even if you don’t walk out the door, is not the path to happiness. You must face the discomfort that comes with differing opinions and ideas.
(I won't agree with everything you have to say, but someone to hear you out is always good. )
3. A sense of humor, some fun, and a bit of distraction from the rigors of daily life.
You can’t spend all your free time “working” on your relationship—don’t make it a hobby. Discuss what you like to do, where you’d like to go, and how you both like to have fun. Then go do it. (Date nights were fun and that is something I would like to continue doing.)
4. Sharing life lessons with the one you love.
When you discover something about life, or you make a self-correcting move that is healthy for your relationship, let your partner know. You’ll be surprised by the positive response. (It's always sexy when you try to improve on yourself.)
5. Emotional support, validation, and compliments.
If you don’t feel that you partner likes and respects you, there will not be a strong connection. You have to lift each other up and let each other know the depth of your caring.(A compliment can take you so far. I have to know that I'm wanted, because if I'm not wanted, then what is the point of all this?)
6. Love, intimacy, romance, and sex.
These are the cornerstones of a loving relationship. Being great roommates just won’t cut it. There has to be the desire to be together as a couple. You may think the spark has gone, but there are too many ways to rekindle it. All you have to do is try.(90% of the time that a person cheats on their partner is because they are not getting something at home. Be fun n show your partner that you love them and still think they are sexy.)
7. Sharing goals and dreams that resonate with both of you.
We are happier when we are working toward a goal than when we have achieved one. Make sure you always have something to look forward to and that you are pursuing it as a couple. (I want to know what you are working towards, and that I will be there with you when you achieve it.)
8. Compassion, acceptance, and forgiveness.
These will show you the way through a difficult time. If you are together for a while, there will be losses, challenges, and some things that you just can’t fix. Weathering the storms together is a big part of what relationships are all about.(Make a choice to move on, and do it. Don't dwell on the past.)
9.A mutual desire to step outside the box.
The tried-and-true is good, but the never- attempted-before may be better. Couples who share new experiences together develop a stronger bond.(Doing new things is always fun.)
10. Being able to admit mistakes and to talk about them.
We all screw up. Learning to understand and let go of mistakes that you or your partner make will turn your life around and give you more time for joy.(Like I said before. Make a choice to move on and just do it! )
Just as we need to breathe to survive, your love needs a breath of fresh air to flourish. Giving your relationship what it needs to thrive is a truly loving gesture.
Thursday, June 27, 2013
Thursday!
I am overly excited that it is Thursday! My Friday! I don't have much going on this weekend, but I am excited to be off. For some odd reason I have been lagging the whole week and to know that I'll be off for the next two days gave me a sudden energy spurt. lol.
Anyway, Peace!
Anyway, Peace!
Tuesday, June 11, 2013
Just Today...
I realized...
... that I am beautiful!
... that my worth is way more than i have given myself credit for in the past
... that only I can make my destiny
... that love comes to you when you least look for it
... that when you give your best, the best comes to you
I'm loving life!
... that I am beautiful!
... that my worth is way more than i have given myself credit for in the past
... that only I can make my destiny
... that love comes to you when you least look for it
... that when you give your best, the best comes to you
I'm loving life!
Sunday, March 24, 2013
Emotionally Controlling Boyfriends
Signs of an emotionally controlling boyfriend
An emotionally controlling boyfriend is a scary guy. He falls deeply in love with you and treats you like a princess all the time. And all along, he makes himself seem helpless and weak without you. Eventually, you’ll find yourself feeling more protective about him, and will start to fall more in love with him.And somewhere along the way, you’ll begin to see a few of these signs of a controlling boyfriend. If you do notice these signs and it bothers you, put a stop to his behavior. And walk out of the relationship if he doesn’t change. [Read: How to end a relationship the right way]
You have to remember that emotionally controlling boyfriends aren’t bad guys. They’re just insecure and possessive. And they just forget where to draw the line when it comes to trying to control you.And at the end of the day, it’s in your own hands to fall for his ploy or change him for the better.
The 15 secret signs that matter
Watch out for these 15 subtle signs, and if you do find your boyfriend’s behavior bordering on any of these signs, tell him about it and ask him to change.
#1 He puts you down
He puts you down when you do something by yourself and makes it look like you can’t do anything without his help. He picks flaws in anything you do, and helps you do a better job. He disrespects you and anything you do, and makes it seem like you need him to become a better person. This will eventually make you lose your own confidence, and wait for his reassurance and help each time you try something new.
#2 He doesn’t like it when you go out with your friends
Does he say your friends are a bad influence or does he think one of your guy friends are hitting on you? He starts to choose your friends and tells you whom to hang out with. Eventually you’d find yourself losing touch with most of your friends. [Read: Are guy best friends trouble?]
#3 He’s insecure and doubts you
He plays mind games and tries to trap you with tricky, unnecessary questions. He tries confusing you into giving him contradictory answers which makes you feel like you are the bad person in the relationship.
#4 He wants to know everything about you
He hates secrets. He tells you all his passwords and secrets, and expects you to do the same, be it your email, twitter or facebook account. He wants to know every single detail of your daily life, and when he finds out that you haven’t told him a few things, he acts pained and hurt.
#5 He stalks you
He wants you to keep in touch with him very often, and he wants to be informed about everything you’re doing even if you’re just stepping out of office for a coffee break with your friends.
#6 He doesn’t like it when you have fun without him
This is rather simple and easy to see. If you go out with your own friends for a night out, he sulks or acts grumpy for a while and makes up another excuse about why he’s pissed off. Sometimes, he may even blame you for his mood and use an excuse like “you didn’t call me enough” or “you ignored me”.
#7 He cripples you
He looks for any excuse to prove a point. If something offends or bothers him, he’ll wait for a perfect excuse to bring that conversation up and prove his point. If your friend gets into a car crash, he may gloat about it and make it a point to tell you why he doesn’t like you travelling with that guy. He loves saying “I told you so” and makes you feel lost without his guidance in life.
#8 He’s jealous
This can seem cute at first, but over time, his jealousy could turn into an obsession that borders on insanity. [Read: How to make him not-so-jealous?]
#9 You can’t do anything important without him
When you achieve something without his help, he treats it like it’s no big deal. He behaves like your promotions and personal achievements are not big milestones in your life. On the other hand, he’ll consider you leaving your friends for him a bigger achievement that can help the relationship.
#10 He’s never at fault
But you always are. Even if he meets with an accident on the way to work, he blames it on someone else or the big fight both of you had that morning. But if you make a mistake, he’ll make sure he constantly reminds you about the incident over and over again.
#11 He has different principles for you and him
He doesn’t like it when you hang out with a few of your friends. But when he meets his own friends, even the ones you dislike, he makes it seem like you’re the one misunderstanding his friends. He creates his own rules for himself, and imposes different rules on you. [Read: Signs he's serious about you]
#12 He takes decisions in your life
He may seem like a chivalrous knight who’s always there to help you make up your mind, but very soon you’d see that he’d actually be the one manipulating you and making all the decisions for you. And even if you do make a decision yourself, he picks flaws in it and shows you how wrong you are even if you know you’re right.
#13 He breaks down when you take a stand
This is a sick trait of an emotionally controlling boyfriend, but it’s one that’ll always show up when you take a stand. Whenever you take a stand or refuse to listen to him, he may argue with you. But when he can’t get it his way, he may break down and cry about how you don’t understand him anymore. What happens eventually is that you’d end up giving in for his happiness.
#14 You lose your freedom
You find yourself asking for his permission to do anything. You assume he’s the best thing that’s happens in your life. All of a sudden, you’re convinced that he’s your personal god and the one who’s always right.
#15 You no longer know what you want
Your whole life revolves around him. He makes you believe that he’s the one who can make you happy and no one else. And surprisingly, you’d start believing it too. His happiness becomes yours, his wants are your wants, and his likes become your likes. Your whole world will start to revolve around him, and nothing else.
Every lover has a controlling streak within them, but there’s the thin red line that makes all the difference. [Read: How to know if it's time to break up]A relationship shouldn’t change who you are, especially when you’re already a happy person. You should be the only one who can change who you are.[Read: Is he really the one for you?]You can change your controlling boyfriend if you want to. Just watch out for these 15 subtle signs of a controlling boyfriend and put an end to it as soon as it crops up. If you don’t, you may end up losing yourself instead!
An emotionally controlling boyfriend is a scary guy. He falls deeply in love with you and treats you like a princess all the time. And all along, he makes himself seem helpless and weak without you. Eventually, you’ll find yourself feeling more protective about him, and will start to fall more in love with him.And somewhere along the way, you’ll begin to see a few of these signs of a controlling boyfriend. If you do notice these signs and it bothers you, put a stop to his behavior. And walk out of the relationship if he doesn’t change. [Read: How to end a relationship the right way]
You have to remember that emotionally controlling boyfriends aren’t bad guys. They’re just insecure and possessive. And they just forget where to draw the line when it comes to trying to control you.And at the end of the day, it’s in your own hands to fall for his ploy or change him for the better.
The 15 secret signs that matter
Watch out for these 15 subtle signs, and if you do find your boyfriend’s behavior bordering on any of these signs, tell him about it and ask him to change.
#1 He puts you down
He puts you down when you do something by yourself and makes it look like you can’t do anything without his help. He picks flaws in anything you do, and helps you do a better job. He disrespects you and anything you do, and makes it seem like you need him to become a better person. This will eventually make you lose your own confidence, and wait for his reassurance and help each time you try something new.
#2 He doesn’t like it when you go out with your friends
Does he say your friends are a bad influence or does he think one of your guy friends are hitting on you? He starts to choose your friends and tells you whom to hang out with. Eventually you’d find yourself losing touch with most of your friends. [Read: Are guy best friends trouble?]
#3 He’s insecure and doubts you
He plays mind games and tries to trap you with tricky, unnecessary questions. He tries confusing you into giving him contradictory answers which makes you feel like you are the bad person in the relationship.
#4 He wants to know everything about you
He hates secrets. He tells you all his passwords and secrets, and expects you to do the same, be it your email, twitter or facebook account. He wants to know every single detail of your daily life, and when he finds out that you haven’t told him a few things, he acts pained and hurt.
#5 He stalks you
He wants you to keep in touch with him very often, and he wants to be informed about everything you’re doing even if you’re just stepping out of office for a coffee break with your friends.
#6 He doesn’t like it when you have fun without him
This is rather simple and easy to see. If you go out with your own friends for a night out, he sulks or acts grumpy for a while and makes up another excuse about why he’s pissed off. Sometimes, he may even blame you for his mood and use an excuse like “you didn’t call me enough” or “you ignored me”.
#7 He cripples you
He looks for any excuse to prove a point. If something offends or bothers him, he’ll wait for a perfect excuse to bring that conversation up and prove his point. If your friend gets into a car crash, he may gloat about it and make it a point to tell you why he doesn’t like you travelling with that guy. He loves saying “I told you so” and makes you feel lost without his guidance in life.
#8 He’s jealous
This can seem cute at first, but over time, his jealousy could turn into an obsession that borders on insanity. [Read: How to make him not-so-jealous?]
#9 You can’t do anything important without him
When you achieve something without his help, he treats it like it’s no big deal. He behaves like your promotions and personal achievements are not big milestones in your life. On the other hand, he’ll consider you leaving your friends for him a bigger achievement that can help the relationship.
#10 He’s never at fault
But you always are. Even if he meets with an accident on the way to work, he blames it on someone else or the big fight both of you had that morning. But if you make a mistake, he’ll make sure he constantly reminds you about the incident over and over again.
#11 He has different principles for you and him
He doesn’t like it when you hang out with a few of your friends. But when he meets his own friends, even the ones you dislike, he makes it seem like you’re the one misunderstanding his friends. He creates his own rules for himself, and imposes different rules on you. [Read: Signs he's serious about you]
#12 He takes decisions in your life
He may seem like a chivalrous knight who’s always there to help you make up your mind, but very soon you’d see that he’d actually be the one manipulating you and making all the decisions for you. And even if you do make a decision yourself, he picks flaws in it and shows you how wrong you are even if you know you’re right.
#13 He breaks down when you take a stand
This is a sick trait of an emotionally controlling boyfriend, but it’s one that’ll always show up when you take a stand. Whenever you take a stand or refuse to listen to him, he may argue with you. But when he can’t get it his way, he may break down and cry about how you don’t understand him anymore. What happens eventually is that you’d end up giving in for his happiness.
#14 You lose your freedom
You find yourself asking for his permission to do anything. You assume he’s the best thing that’s happens in your life. All of a sudden, you’re convinced that he’s your personal god and the one who’s always right.
#15 You no longer know what you want
Your whole life revolves around him. He makes you believe that he’s the one who can make you happy and no one else. And surprisingly, you’d start believing it too. His happiness becomes yours, his wants are your wants, and his likes become your likes. Your whole world will start to revolve around him, and nothing else.
Every lover has a controlling streak within them, but there’s the thin red line that makes all the difference. [Read: How to know if it's time to break up]A relationship shouldn’t change who you are, especially when you’re already a happy person. You should be the only one who can change who you are.[Read: Is he really the one for you?]You can change your controlling boyfriend if you want to. Just watch out for these 15 subtle signs of a controlling boyfriend and put an end to it as soon as it crops up. If you don’t, you may end up losing yourself instead!
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