What I've learned...

-Life keeps on going, even when we want it to stop.

-Love comes at costs, I'm just trying to figure out how much i want to pay.

-We can have the most hope for our children, but at some point it's up to them to make their way in the world.

-Past deeds do have a way of coming back to haunt you. Get it right the first time.

-Friends and friendships are formed over time, over experience. Anyone who calls you a friend after just meeting you usually wants something from you.

-When someone is unwilling to communicate with you, it's usually because they are hiding something.

-What goes on in the dark, will come to light.

-Strangers can sometimes be best for you in every way.

-Life goes on, no matter what.

-If we cared more for our own, we wouldn't need others.

-Desperation lies in indecision, but once we decide what's best for us, and act upon it...we succeed.

-Winning begins with an attitude, then progresses with a plan, then succeeds with hope, imagination, and execution.

-No one owes you anything, but you owe yourself the world.

-Giving up is not an option, just an excuse.

-We can say we love many, but you can only really love one...think about it, you have only one heart...dividing it up only kills you.

-You can talk all day about what you are gonna do, but until you do something, it's just talk.

About Me...

Here are some things you may or may not know about me:

Four jobs I have had in my life:
1- Cashier at Baker's
2- Delivering Variety Magazine
3- Cocktail Waitress
4- Cashier at Sam's Club

Four movies I would watch over and over:
1- The Wedding Singer
2- The Family Man
3- Sleepless in Seattle
4- Never Been Kissed

Four places I have lived:
1- Westwood, Ca
2- Fontana, Ca
3- Henderson, Nv
4- Las Vegas, Nv

Four TV shows I watch:
1- The Secret Life of the American Teenager
2- Life Unexpected
3- Grey's Anatomy
4- Medium

Four places I have been on vacation:
1- Mexico
2- Los Angeles, Ca
3- El Salvador
4- Utah

Four of my favorite foods:
1- fish tacos
2- french fries
3- pizza
4- cake

Four places I would like to be right now:
1- At Cafe 50's having one of their bomb breakfast burritos
2- At the outlet mall having the best shopping spree ever!
3- On a plane about to leave to my Caribbean vacation!
4- on a plane to la, going on my month long vacation doing whatever i like at home!

Be Well!

On Love

One of the most difficult things that I have had to face since I started this journey (life) has been the realization that, at least for the foreseeable future, I cannot be in love. I just can’t. I mean, I love Gio, but I'm not IN love with Gio? I'm in a place in my life where being in love would be selfish, impractical, and, dare I say, decidedly confusing.

You see, my dear reader, I, like you, long for the security of comfortable silences. I yearn to feel the familiar warmth of someone's body next to my pillow. Most of all, I crave a certain indescribable connection of body, mind and spirit with someone who instinctively understands me. Ultimately, I want to be able to tell myself: "Sandra, this man was made for you. And you were made for him. Now live your life together simply, justly, and happily." But it just doesn't happen that way. I can't be in love for the simple reason that, I, would not want to be in love alone. And as it is, if I were IN love at this moment, that is exactly what it would be. I would be in love by myself.

As much as I may want love, I have no choice but to push it aside. There are just too many things in the way.

AM I GOOD ENOUGH?
The hard truth is that I've been so independent for so long that I just don't think I even remember how to be a good partner. There have been way too many late nights at bars, too many parties, too many men to count. (LMAO! I'm kidding on this last one!!!) But really, I even have a hard time compromising with Gio about Noah's hair! I don't like anyone telling me what to do, or how to do it. I really don't know if I'm the problem here...

IS HE GOOD ENOUGH?
Well, of course he is. He is a good man. He somewhat cares for me. He is responsible, he has a job (score!), he takes care of home, he is always here with us, and I always know where he is. He respects me... but like I said. I long for more. I want someone to want me, someone to feel like I am everything to them. Someone who adores me, thinks I am beautiful, and wants to kiss me all the time... Someone who is proud to be with me.

LOGISTICS SUCK
The reality is that I just don’t know where I will end up next year. I have a couple of ideas floating around in my head, biding their time until the practicalities of the Plan are resolved. But I just don’t see how I can get close to anyone when I don’t even know where this journey will be taking me.

IN THE END
My journey thus far has been an exhilarating, at times painful, mostly joyful experience. In the end, I just hope that this process can add meaning to my life and that it brings me the clarity and the certainty to love someone simply and completely. We shall see...

Way Back Wednesday 5

There are no words.... all I can say is GORGEOUS!

Carolina...

Today I am thankful for you, my only sister.

I was sitting here thinking
of the words I want to say,
but they just wouldn't come out right
so I found a different way

I got a piece of paper
and I wrote this poem for you,
but there's no way to thank you
for everything you do

For always being nice to me
and staying by my side,
for helping fix my problems
and never leaving me behind

For accepting my thoughts and feelings,
though you do not understand,
for never giving up on me
and being my best friend

For making me laugh
and letting me cry
and saying you'd miss me
if I were to die

Everything you mean to me
you could never know
In all the ways you've changed my life
I could never show

The way you take care of me,
you're my shining star
and though its so incredible
that's just the way you are

Before I get too mushy
its time for me to go,
but before I leave this ink-filled page
there's one thing you should know

As long as we are living,
no matter when or where,
if you ever need me
just call and Ill be there

Ill climb a thousand mountains
and swim a thousand seas
anything to be there
because you've been there for me

Always know you mean the world to me
You're my sister AND my best friend
I'll love you with all my heart and soul
No matter what, till the end!

I'm Amazed

The Do's and Don't s of Dating...

I read an article last week about what you should and shouldn’t do on a date. And, got to say, they made some pretty valid points:

1) Don’t talk too much about your ex. It’s quite ok to mention them, but overall it’s best if you focus on the future.

2) Don’t show your emotions too openly as it might make you appear a little unstable.

3) Show that you have a good sense of humour.

4) Be enthusiastic. Show that you’re interested in spending time with them.

5) Do your research before you meet.

6) Don’t concentrate too much on what you want. Listen, really listen to what the other one has to say.

7) Don’t exaggerate your strengths.

8) Don’t turn up unprepared.

9) Remember to tell him/her in how many different ways you’d be a better match than your rivals. Show evidence.

10) Don’t forget to ask questions.

11) End your meeting by providing a short summary of yourself, outlining all the things that you’d have to give. Recap your skills and strengths.

Oh! Hold on, what’s that title again?

“Do’s and don’ts in a…”

erm,

“… job interview”.

Ok, now everything makes sense:

The article was published in a Finnish business magazine Taloussanomat, and I must admit that there was a brief moment when I was wondering just a little why they might’ve had chosen to write about dating.

It is amazing though how you come up with explanations to almost anything that needs explaining and establish a connection between any two subject/phenomenon if you think that there should be one – and that how scarily easily it happens:

Perhaps they wrote about dating in a business magazine because successful dating makes you succeed at work, I found myself thinking. Or maybe dating improves corporate profitability, somehow? Employees who date are more creative and thus more of an asset to their employers? Going on a date provides an excellent opportunity for practicing your negotiation skills? Dating your boss helps you climb the career ladder? People who date are happy, making board meetings a pleasant, jolly event for everyone? And so on, endlessly.

Still, I think most of these rules would actually work pretty well on a date too. It's all human interaction, after all.